Searching For Self-Worth
What follows is a devotional Dr. Lois Semenye developed recently for a group of vulnerable women in East Africa. It was deeply meaningful to them, and we wanted to share it with others who might be working with vulnerable populations. Many women who are marginalized or displaced struggle with feelings of worthlessness, yet we know our loving God views them very differently!
SEARCHING FOR SELF-WORTH
Salome, not her real name, desired to be seen, known and valued. She pursued this need with all her strength and used all the tricks she knew best to achieve it. Unfortunately, she did not get the recognition she desired. Instead, she found herself as a single mother without a husband and friends.
Salome is not the only one who longs for recognition – love, care and trust. There are many women, and even men, who are pursuing self-worth in the wrong places. They strive to be good wives or husbands and to attain financial stability, success in school, acquire good jobs, etc.
Many women would love to live in and own beautiful houses, marry an honorable and successful man, have children, and be accepted by others - especially those in ‘high’ positions. So many also long to be physically attractive. These are the types of indicators that so many societies use as a measure of a woman’s worth.
This list is not exhaustive nor is it bad to pursue these things, but to make them your life goals and what determines your worth can be disastrous! Inwardly a woman can feel worthless if she does not achieve them. When these things do not happen, many women feel that they are not accepted and that they are of little value. They begin believing that they do not deserve respect, attention or recognition.
The big question is, where do we find our worth in our daily lives? Our souls are constantly seeking for something to validate our existence. At the same time, one has to fight against the ‘voices’ that tell us that we are not worthy or valuable. The voices bring up memories from our past, deeds that would bring shame upon us if others knew. We end up believing those lies and label ourselves as unworthy. We think, “I am worthless. I need to prove my value. God cannot love me. No one cares or sees me.”
In the midst of our confusion, we forget who God is! The God who created us and knows us very well. As Psalms 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
In the Bible, there is a woman who likely struggled with these types of negative thoughts about her worth - the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4:1- 42). We can glean several important insights from her life:
She was not socially acceptable and likely had to go and fetch water at a time different from others to avoid gossip or criticism from women in her community.
She was an outcast as a Samaritan woman.
She had lived with many men, and the one she was with currently was not her husband.
She seemed to be a woman full of wounds, pains and possibly hopelessness.
She met Jesus who knew her and all her struggles.
She shared about her encounter with Jesus and became a catalyst for many coming to faith.
Jesus gave her a new life and she likely found a new and fulfilling purpose in her life.
Her damaged sense of worth was likely forever changed and healed by Jesus the Savior.
We can rejoice knowing and believing that God has a plan for our lives. He sees our every struggle and every challenge we encounter. He is able to intervene and restore our damaged perceptions of worth.
Reflection Questions
1. What do you think is needed for women to be deemed by others as “worthy” in your culture or context?
2. Which voices or messages do you think women are listening to when they feel unworthy?
3. What additional passages might help women to comprehend how important they are to God?
4. How might you be able to help them better discover the truth about their worth?
5. How do you process thoughts and feelings about your own worth?
